He is Faithful

My heart is very full after reading today's passage. For so many years, I struggled with what my testimony was. I accepted Christ as my savior when I was seven. While I had my share of teenage struggles and some rebellion and dishonesty in middle school, God never let me wander too far. For the most part, I really don't remember a time in my life when I knew what it was like to be without God. I struggled with how to let others know what God had done and was still doing in my life. There was no dramatic change, where one day I was living in sin and the next I knew God. In fact, there were years in High School where Satan really played with my head- trying to convince me that I hadn't really been saved but was only playing a part. If I had been saved I should "feel" something more...or something should look a lot different...or...something. I wasn't sure exactly what. Beth Moore says that while God deals with us in specific convictions, Satan deals in generalities to bog us down. I'm certainly inclined to agree! It's only really been in the past three or so years that God has really given me a "mind that understands or eyes that see or ears that hear." (29:4)

In Deuteronomy 28, Moses is listing off the blessings of obedience and curses for disobedience. In chapter 29, he is reminding the Israelites of the covenant they made with God at the base of Mount Sinai. I love these verses.

"Your eyes have seen all that the Lord did in Egypt to Pharoah, to all his officials and to all his land. With your own eyes you saw those great trials, those miraculous signs and great wonders. But to this day the Lord has not given you a mind that understands or eyes that see or ears that hear. During the forty years that I led you through the desert, your clothes did not wear out, nor did the sandals on your feet. You ate no bread and drank no wine or other fermented drink. I did this so that you might know that I am the Lord your God." Deuteronomy 29: 2-6

God has since opened my eyes to what my testimony is- that God is faithful. Just like the Israelites, I failed to notice all the ways God had cared for me and protected me. Even worse, much of the time I even wanted to try and take credit for my blessings instead of recognizing God's hand in the process. Even when I wasn't faithful, God was. He convicted me. Protected me. Surrounded me with godly women as examples. I benefitted so much from the examples of women who loved the Lord. My mom, my youth pastor's wife, numerous other ladies at my church, my grandmothers. I know I benefit from the faithfulness of my parents in following God. Are they perfect? No. Am I?? Certainly not! God himself knows how much work I've been over the years. But the testimony isn't about my faithfulness, it's about God's- even when I wasn't. "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

God made some wonderful promises to the Israelites here. What a wonderful nation they could have been. They were that wonderful nation when they were following God. However, so much of what Moses said regarding the curses was actually almost prophecy. God did what He said when Israel wasn't faithful. Israel was defeated and carried into captivity by Assyria and Judah to Babylon. Later, Roman oppression forced more Jews to flee their homeland. It's tragic. But, when they turned back to God, he remembered his promise. We close our reading with this verse:

"The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law."

God has revealed so much of Himself to me over the years...through good times and through the struggles. That is my testimony. One of a God who honored His end of the bargain to a little seven year old girl who got up the courage to walk to the front of the church and commit her life to Him. He has never left me- even when I didn't pay attention to the fact that he was there. I don't know when you accepted Christ, or if you have. Maybe you feel like you're living under a curse- or that you deserve a curse. Please hear me, God wants nothing more than to start blessing you! Turn your heart back to Him. Remember, He is the faithful one. We are all just trying to be faithful. He's given us his word to help us along the way, and His Spirit to open our eyes and ears so we can understand. Thank you Lord. You are faithful God.

I love this song by Chris Tomlin, "Faithful." I pray it speaks to your heart too.